Low Carb Diet

Everything looks good when I'm on a
Low carbohydrate diet,
Even foods I don't eat like
Bacon, pepperoni and
Stuffed cabbage.
Man was not meant to live on smoked trout alone, or
Cheddar cheese,
Pickles,
Marinated asparagus,
Egg whites,
Tuna,
Diet soda, and the resulting
Constipation.
Who says we should all have
Washboard abs and
Crest 3D Whitestrips teeth?
I draw the line at using
Grecian Formula.
But maybe I will weigh a half-pound less tomorrow
And it will all be worth it,
The world will be right and
I will be the sexist person alive.
Then, slowly, inexplicably,
Begin the steady climb back to my
Former weight,
Feasting on pizza.

© Poem Fix http://www.poemfix.com 2012
Photo by Renee Comet, National Cancer Institute