Harem of Witnesses

If Joseph Smith can create a religion
So can I.
Take no offense,
But I find it hard to believe he dug up
Golden plates in the 1820s
In upstate New York.
Still, faith is faith,
It doesn't matter what I think.
I have no quarrel with anyone who believes in
Things that can never be proven
As long as they behave themselves.
We honor Muslim believers,
But not those who bastardize it,
Murder randomly.
We love our Catholic friends,
But not the Cardinals who abuse young boys.
I'll start my own religion,
One based on eating
Frosted Flakes and Lucky Charms
And banning political party affiliation.
I'll carve the creed on golden bricks,
Show them to everyone,
Then cash them at a bank and buy a glorious house of worship,
Broadcast sermons and raise money,
Buy a mega yacht and
Live forever
Among my harem of witnesses.
We all require something to believe in
When our sports teams are losing.
We need comfort, understanding,
Someone to listen to us during dark hours.
I will be the founder of a new spiritual belief system
That in a hundred years
Will be ridiculed and reviled.

© Poem Fix 2012
Image: C.C.A. Christensen

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