Mermaid in Texas

That's not what you do.
Yes it is.
You'd have got in trouble for it and wouldn't be sitting here right now.
Well I am.
I don't believe it and I can't be convinced and I'm not some dumb hick just 'cause I'm from this part of Texas.
I didn't say you were a hick.
You did kinda say it.
It doesn't matter to me what you think and I only told you because you said I couldn't top your story about the mermaid which, I must say, does not hold water.
I saw what I saw.
You saw a mermaid in Texas?
I most certainly did and you can't prove I didn't.
But you can't prove you did.
That's the same as your story and there's no one to vouch for you.
Of course there are, only dozens of girls.
Then tell me again how you do it.
You don't remember what I said?
I remember just fine but I don't take the word of a stranger in a bar the first time.
If you say so.
I do say so.
Like I said I call for room service and when it arrives I look through the peep hole and if it's a woman and she's not too ugly I take off all my clothes and open the door naked.
Totally naked?
Buck and brightly so, in my birthday suit.
And that's how you get girls?
Half the time they smile and then I smile and invite them in, but if they don't smile and they get  scared then I tell them I just woke up and hadn't realized I wasn't dressed--I'm a great and convincing apologizer--but those room service girls are always so willing and grateful.
Well you told it just the same so maybe I shouldn't doubt you as much.
And the mermaid?
Well she couldn't be anything else and she's all I got.
Then, sir, I shall allow you possession of your water nymph.
My what?
Nothing, good man, nothing at all.

© Poem Fix 2012
Image: Sabine Baring-Grould

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